Monday, September 1, 2008

Sometimes Bombs Fall Quietly...

I'd be downsizing this whole experience if I said I haven't learned anything. I learned that sometimes being stubborn is a good quality, survivors are stubborn, lovers are stubborn... I'm pretty sure that most people are stubborn, actually.
I came to a foreign country completely alone, as many do, and I have made friends. I have made good friends. I've pushed my limits. I've bungee jumped. I've kayaked through canyons and mangroves in the ocean, and had a monkey on my leg trying to steal my peanuts. I've taught. I've completely pushed my comfort zones. I've learned (KIND OF) a language that the majority of Americans will never even come in contact with. I have befriended monks (that I haven't seen in months! I'm a bad person...) I have learned to drive a manual "motorcycle", and owned one. I have eaten friend beetles. I haven't been cold in a year. I have a permanent farmer's tan. I've befriended people that I would never have even MET, or thought existed had I not done this.
I have lived alone. I have been lonely, truly truly lonely, and I have forced myself to find a solution to that. I have been truly truly depressed, truly truly sick, truly truly tired of this and I have pushed through it. I have loved this country. I have hated this country. I have loved my ability to push through things, and I have hated it.

With that said, it is people that make the place... and sometimes the place that makes the people. Luckily, for me, I have many friends that have made this place awesome for me... and I have this place that has made me change.

Over the past month, I've been struggling with the decision to come home, and in the end, have decided that my time here is coming to an end. I need to face my life and responsibilities at home. I need to be doing something more useful, as gratifying is this is, I need something more. Something more challenging and all-consuming. I have decided to leave my loves here, my life here, and head home! I'm both sad, scared and excited, but it's time. Sometimes you have to move on, and this was never permanent... sort of like my year long tan-lines. They were never meant to stay forever. I am not meant to be in Thailand forever, as much as I love it.

So, I'll see you all in November!

1 comment:

gregallbritton said...

come on home baby,we will be here for you like always we have missed you and we will be glad when your home love you always dad.