hakuna mattatta

No worries. Hmmm... if I could master that, I'd be set. What's interesting is that I worry about the things that I shouldn't CARE about and don't worry about the things that I really SHOULD care about. I'm not worried about the massive exam that will determine whether or not I'm qualified to teach English. I'm not worried about the homework, I'm not worried about much. But I worry about whether people that I am only going to be around for a month (2 weeks now) like me or not, when I have people at home that love me more than life... and I'm worried about people that I will probably never see again in my life. I haven't been myself, I've been over sensitive (more than usual) and I've isolated myself at least 4 times a day, while everyone else sits in groups laughing and talking. I just feel so naive with all of these people. They're all older, and they've all been to so many places and through so many things, while I'm sitting here, a stupid 21 year old girl that's insecure in who she is and is just here because she didn't know what else to do... I feel out of place, which isn't atypical of me, but it is stupid because... well, none of these people know me. I'm not certain that I even know me, so how could anyone else?
On a brighter note: This weekend I went to an island called Koh Yao Noy, which is exactly what Thailand should be. Palm trees, ocean and peace. It was absolutely GORGEOUS. I rented a motorcycle and drove all over the island (scary, I know, but I did really well!) And i had a blast! The ferry rides were probably my favorite part though... being on a motorised long boat in the middle of the ocean, seeing all of these massive islands in the distance... mountains that barely find their way out of the ocean. It is beautiful. The sky in Thailand seems so much bigger than anywhere else. I decided that it's because there is a freedom about Thailand that you can't find anywhere else... and because there aren't as many massive buildings, but I like the other explaination better. haha.
Anyway, Things are okay, you could even say great because the good definitely outweighs the bad... but, I have been homesick... I have been sick... but I have also been here, which is the best place to be. ever.