Nothing dims these stars:

So, the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of busy days and long nights. I don't know where the time is going, but it's going so quickly lately. For awhile, it was dragging, and I was waiting for it to speed up... and now that it's sped up, I'm wishing for it to slow down.
Last Saturday night, Beth headed home to NY, and I miss her. Naturally... Plus, for some reason, I just realllly like that picture. haha. Maybe it's her rock star, straight banged, "I can squat like a Thai" coolness. I don't know.


I've been trying to throw myself into teaching, but the more I try, the more I feel like it's a thankless feat. No one really gets what I'm trying to do, and I feel like the teachers are against my efforts... BUT, I LOVE my kids. Love them, and I think that next year, when I'm able to do things more to my styling, and can teach the things that I think haven't been taught correctly, and start from scratch, I think I will LOVE my job. When I feel like I matter... because right now, I feel like it doesn't matter if I'm there or not, so when I start a school year with them, it will be awesome. I'm PUMPED. These pictures were taken on the day of "Day camp" which was last saturday, it was fun... ridiculous, but the kids enjoyed it, so it was wort h it. I think the hardest thing about teaching here is that no one really ever bothers to tell me what's going on, but next year they'll have to... so, again, I just have to be patient, which I'm getting good at these days. haha. The little boy in the picture by himself... that's Noon, I love him. He is the "naughty" boy in his class. The teachers constantly tell him that he's stupid, simply because he's hyper... one day a few weeks ago, I was talking to his teacher, trying desperately to communicate that I thought he was very bright, just hyper, and the teacher was laughing hysterically and basically said "no, no, he's VERY beautiful, but he's very very stupid." And it broke my heart. He's usually so bad in class, but I'm convinced that he's smart... so I argued with her, "no no, I think he's very smart" then she says "no, he's so dumb, I mean... look" and I look up and he's on all fours, barking. And that's when I fell in love. The next week he was being very bad in class, and I pulled him over and asked him if he was stupid, and he shook his head "no" and I said, in horrible Thai "right, you're smart. Aren't you?" and he shook his head "yes" and I said "Next week, be quiet, sit like a good boy, because you're very smart and I like you" and since then, he has been an ANGEL with me. He tries so hard, and runs up to me and shows me his work and gets so excited. He is NOT stupid, and I am going to PROVE it, damn it. He's so good for me now, he just needs to be believed in. And well, I'll feed him positive reinforcement, because no one else is... anyway, I love him.
I've been spending a lot of time with the monks, and getting to be good friends with them... though it isn't quite the same without Beth. They help me with my Thai , speaking, reading AND writing, and they just make me laugh so hard. I go see them pretty much every afternoon from about 4 till around 6:30... I love them. I love them so much. This wendesday I'm taking the day off from school, and teaching with Phra D in his highschool class all day, because he wants to see how I teach things, and he wants them to work on their pronunciation of words. So, I'm gonna do that... it'll be a good break from 5 year olds... and maybe next weekend I'll go to Pai? I don't know.
Thursday night (Valentines Day) I went to this art show, I was amazed. There are so many amazing, unique souls that live in this city... and I'm finally getting to know several of them... and I love it. I got to wear my dress, and ride my bike... and I feel super hot, it was great. Oh, meet my motorcycle that I SUCK at driving, her name is Ruby, and I love her. (Thanks Beth :-)) I have been meeting such COOL people, and falling more and more in love with this city, with the language, everything.

I don't want to leave.

Learning to understand and appreciate the magnitude of your experiences is... amazing. I love my life.