I have loved you

I have loved you since the day I met you...
It has not stopped.
There have been lulls... there have been waves,
other boys and stupid mistakes, but I have loved you.

I have loved you through stupidity, stubbornness...
I have loved you through honesty and laughter...
I have loved you through vodka and cigarettes;
through tattoos and bad ideas...
There have been days when I have hated you,
days when I have wanted to push you away and never speak to you again...
and days when I've almost succeeded in that...
But I have loved you.

This is more than losing battles, and I could probably stomach losing a war.

I have lost clothing and keys, I have lost love (only to realize I never had it)
but this...
This is more than losing flesh and blood;
more than the end of a constant, steady rhythm;
more than the stop of subtle breaths...
This is the losing,
the breaking...
There are so many things to say...
and I would've said them...

tomorrow;

But you won't be there tomorrow.

This is the losing, the breaking.
I have loved you since the day I met you...
It has not stopped. It will not stop.
There have been lulls... there have been waves,
other boys and stupid mistakes, but I have loved you.

And will, always.

Goodbye, my dear friend.