Run Baby, Run.

Those of you that know me well, know that the thing that I'm the best at is running. If I can't cope, I run. I run to Asia, I run to Europe.. I run as far as I can possibly get from the situation with which I feel I can't handle. So, I find myself in limbo again and tempted to buy the first ticket to Ireland I can find... characteristic of me, I suppose.
This year is my year to be still, but I still can't help myself from feeling that I need to run... far and fast. Things get too comfortable, people get too close and I instantly want OUT. My song for this is an oooold song by Sheryl Crow from her Album "Tuesday Night Club", which was released when I was in the 4th grade. It was my VERY FIRST CD, and is probably still one of my favorites to this day... So, in my attempt to be still, I listen to songs about running.

Run Baby, Run.

She was born in November 1963
The day Aldous Huxley died
And her mama believed
That every man could be free
So her mama got high, high, high
And her daddy marched on Birmingham
Singing mighty protest songs
And he pictured all the places
That he knew that she belonged
But he failed and taught her young
The only thing she's need to carry on
He taught her how to

Run baby run baby run baby run
Baby run

Past the arms of the familiar
And their old familiar ways
To the comfort of the strangers
Slipping out before they say
so long
Baby loves to run

She counts out all her money
In the taxi on the way to meet her plane
Stares hopeful out the window
At the workers fighting
Through the pouring rain
She's searching through the stations
For an unfamiliar song
And she's pictures all the places
Where she knows she still belongs
And she smiles the secret smile
Because she knows exactly how
To carry on

So run baby run baby run baby run
Baby run

From the old familiar faces and
Their old familiar ways
To the comfort of the strangers
Slipping out before they say
So long
Baby loves to run

When you're older, you will understand...

"When you're older, you will understand...
then again... maybe you won't"

So, it is a new year!! Happy new year to all of you! I can't believe the changes that 2008 brought in, or how fast it went by. I feel like 2008 just started and BAM! It's over. Insane...
I can't help but think that this time last year, I was just getting my footing in Chiang Mai, and here I am in Little Rock, just as lost as I was in Asia... and even less employed. But that will change, soon, hopefully.
Well, New years eve was a LOT of fun, though I'm pretty sure I pissed quite a few people off... well, you win some, you learn some... I had fun.



With a new year comes resolutions, and most of us have pretty good intentions, those of us that make them. I've never really been one to make them because "I wont' keep it anyway", but this year I decided to try... I'm trying to lose weight (what's new, right? haha.) But I'm also trying to sort myself out, get my pre-reqs sorted so that I can get into the Nursing program at Hopkins that I badly want to get into, find scholarships, and also, to start acting like a girl... haha.
Another resolution is to be nicer to myself, and not as nice to the people that don't deserve it, but that's something I've said I'm going to do for years now and I think I've improved, but I haven't really got it down yet.
Oh, and this summer... I'm buying a motorcycle. And I don't care what anyone says, or who argues with me, it's happening... so suck it up. It'll be great for Baltimore or any city I decide to live in, and then in the winters I'll have my CRV and public transport, so, leave me alone. PLUS, I'm a pro. haha.
Anyway, now I'm just rambling. I'm still single, and I still prefer that. Guys stress me OUT... I've tried dating here and there, and I've decided that I'd rather just be single. Maybe soon someone will change my mind, but for now, I like it this way.

My mom will be here on the 16th! WORD.
Peace out, cub scouts.

You won't have to look up at the stars, no no

I realize that some people have been hurt by this post, and for that I apologize, you must remember that these are merely my rantings of the moment, and not meant to be offensive to anyone. I love you all, if I didn't you wouldn't get to me as much as you do, so don't let my rants on a blog effect you so much. I won't delete it, because it's how I feel... if you choose to take it personally, then I'm sorry to have hurt you... It isn't directed at anyone in particular, it's just feelings, and we're all a little bit irrational sometimes, so give me a break and allow me to express myself without taking offense, please.

Merry Christmas.

"You could write a book about the complexities of the relationships in your family.."

my best friend said this to me today, and it's so very true. They love me when I'm gone, and hate me when I'm here... resent me when I'm wandering the world, and beg me to come home. It's a wretched dichotomy that I'm afraid I will never truly understand. Loving and hating someone at the same time: My family thrives on this... it's how we survive, it's what forces the blood through our veins-- I'm convinced.
How can a place be home and you still feel like an intruder every time you're there? How can you live somewhere and yet be expected not to exist there? How can you be expected to leave no evidence of that pathetic excuse for an existence? How can someone have your "best interest in mind" all while doing their best to hinder any advancement you attempt?

Much less, why are they stuck so far under my nails, under my skin, in my veins, constantly weighing heavy on my bones?

These aches are too old for this body, to wise for this mind and too deep for this ocean.

You light up my life...

Ladies and Gentlemen... meet my lovely niece. She is the most perfect little being on earth.


She loves yogurt. And her hat.


She also LOVES bath time.


And her fish hat.


But most of all... she loves pudding.

Good song.

One reason I love Rosie Thomas:

Everyday I’m so afraid
Afraid of dying
Death already came and got me
Cause I’m not living...
I'm not living anyway...

And who am i supposed to be?
Everybody seems to see except for me
Who cares anyway....
Cause when it's over,
It's all over, and what you gain you throw away

When will love ever find me?
All my life all I’ve craved is to be seen
Who cares anyway...
Cause when it's over,
All that matters is the love you gave away

Hoppin' home...

News Flash: I broke my ankle. I'll be home on Wednesday... I'll post my phone number when I can.

What this means: I'm not going to Vietnam or Laos. I'm not traveling. I won't be able to drive when I get home.

Therefore, I'm going to be cranky.

boo.

Okay, you can laugh now. It is kind'a funny... haha.

This is why I'm hot...

This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot (Uh)

This is why I'm hot

This is why; This is why....
This is why I'm hot


I'm hot cause I'm fly
You ain't cause you're not

This is why; This is why...
This is why I'm hot


[Verse 1:]
This is why I'm hot
I don't gotta rap

I can sell a mill saying nothing on the track
I represent New York
I got it on my back

Niggas say that we lost it
So I'm gonna bring it back
I love the dirty, dirty
'Cause niggas show me love

The ladies start to bounce
As soon as I hit the club
But in the Midwest
They love to take it slow

So when I hit the H
I watch you get it on the floor
And if you needed it hyphy
I take it to the Bay
Frisco to Sac-town

They do it everyday
Compton to Hollywood
As soon as I hit L.A.
I'm in that low, low

I do it the Cali way
And when I hit Chi
People say that I'm fly

They like the way I dress they like
(They like my) my attire move crowds from side to side

They ask me how I do it and simply I reply...

This is Why I'm hot...
This is why I'm hot (uh)

This is why; This is why...
This is why I'm hot.



And THAT my friends... is why I... am hot.