Spilled her coffee, Broke a shoe lace...

Hey guys! Well, today, I had the worst day one could possibly imagine, and it's not even that it was that bad... it was really just the way I TOOK it that was bad. Anyway, I was having the worst morning, teachers were treating me like crap, I've been sick and not sleeping so I didn't handle that well, the kids wouldn't shut up for 2 seconds so that I could teach and then I got yelled at because what I was doing was "too much work" it was 2 COLORING sheets, y'all. Seriously?
Anyway, I was about 2 breaths from walking out, quitting and saying "you know, I tried, but I just can't do it", and as I was standing there, watching all of these 5 year olds that swear they "can't do" anything, write their names in English, and write the alphabet and then connect the dots from A-B-C-D... you get it, I was still thinking "I suck. I suck at this. What the hell am I doing?" A little boy named Yok, one of the smartest kids I have, and cutest, ran up to me, and wrapped his little arms around me (or attempted to, his arms didn't fit around me, cause I'm a massive massive human here... haha) and just held on to me for about 3 minutes.
I'm still not convinced that I can do this. I'm still pretty sure that I'm horrible at it, and the teachers will all be relieved when I split, but Yok convinced me to stay, at least for Monday.
Kids are wonderful... I wish I could've stayed like that. Seeing my teacher looking down so, without words I just run up to her and hug her until she smiles.

This love branches out like an Oak tree...

Hello allllll! Well, things here in Chiang Mai are going fairly well these days! I started teaching again on Tuesday, and this week was SO LONG. It seriously seemed like it would never end, but it did, with a great sigh of relief. I lived. I'm trying to be better this year, but I already see myself falling into old patterns... leaving for lunch and taking naps. lol. BUT, I suppose that as long as I'm teaching, and I'm there when I have class, and appear to care, it doesn't really matter that much. Most of my kids are scared of me, and when I speak to them they just stare up at me blankly like "wow, you're a very big... very white.. monster." It's kind of amusing, but after 300 of them, it just gets old. I DO have a funny teaching story for you all... it won't be as funny on here as it was in real life, but it's just so amazing that I feel I have to share.
Friday, I was teaching "What is your name?" "my name is...." And the way I was teaching this was to have the kids sit in a big circle, and roll a ball to each other, and whoever got the ball had to answer me. I tried getting them to say "What is your name?" but they just stared at me blankly like I was a big white idiot. So, I rolled with it. Anyway, there were 2 little boys being a particular disruption... wrestling, kicking, pretending to be ninjas, etc. Which is all well and good, but for the sake of the class, I had to be the mean teacher and separate them... After about 3 minutes separated, I looked over at one of the little boys and he was holding his wrist up to his mouth and talking into it, like he had some secret walkie talkie device embedded in his wrist... I mean, he was into it. I'm almost certain that if I could've heard him he would've been talking about some secret mission to escape and saying 10:4 that Roger, over. THEN, I look over at the other little boy... and he's holding his wrist up to his ear and shaking his head like he can hear what the other little boy is saying.
This went on through the entire class, and I couldn't stop them because it was just so funny. I was like... wow. I wish I was still a kid.


Tuesday night I played my first little "show" in Chiang Mai,which was basically just a small gathering, and random people that wandered in.

It was good fun, good to see friends. And to see their reactions to my songs that most of them didn't even know I wrote. In Chiang Mai, I have kept my music a complete secret. But, I suppose the secret's out now, so, here goes nothin'!

Typical of me before I play a first show, I wasn't in the best of moods but I think that was okay, I got some pretty good responses. I've made some pretty awesome friends in this lovely city. I like them. They're funny.


I can't really think of much else worth saying right now, I'm doing okay. I miss friends at home, and hugs. I really miss hugs. And my familia, of course, but most of the time I am perfectly happy here. I have been getting restless for the next thing though, which is bad because, well, that won't come till October when I go to Laos! This next 6 months is gonna be SO sweet though. Just watch...

Comfortable, like rain on Sundays...

Hello friends!Here is a picture that my sister-in-law sent me of my BEAUTIFUL niece, Audrey... who is smiling now! I can't believe it. I'm so bummed that I'm not there to actually see her smile before she gets teeth, haha. I love the little toothless smiles, and fat rubber-band rolls on babies, and I'm missing that part. Oh well.




Well, the past two weeks have been an absolute blur of insanity! I STILL haven't unpacked! I finally started working again, but the kids won't actually come back until Tuesday, so I've been preparing (or pretending to and trying to get things sorted for school. I'm ready to have something to do other than socialize and drink. (Though I am having fun.) It's time to do something least vaguely useful.


That picture is me and my friend Eliza, who has actually become one of my best friends... she leaves soon and I'm going to be a MESSSSSS. (This happens entirely too often here!) But at least I know I have one friend from this place that will be my friend for a very very long time!



Above: Lawrence, me, Angie and Rachel! Last saturday night when we weren't supposed to be drinking, we hid out in this bar called "Selly Freedom Bar", where Eliza and Tony current (and me too, lately) and celebrated Eliza's birthday! So much fun!


My favorites.

I'm having a blast, meeting loads of new people, and finding that life really doesn't have to be such a fight. It's marvelous. Now, I need to unpack! Catch ya later, when I have something more interesting to say! Peace!

Shady's back, tell a friend...

After 6 weeks in the states, I am BACK in Thailand! WOOOHOOO! I had a blast at home. I went all over the dang place! I started in Reading (pronounced REDing, like the past tense of 'read'... get it?) Then to Baltimore to see missy higgins, and 3 of my FAVORITE people! Amazing. Then to Philly, then to Florida to see my college roomies! Then to Arkansas for 3 weeks where I got to meet Audrey, who was stubborn for awhile, I was actually afraid she might not come out! But she did, and she's perfect. Got to hang out with my Grandma and see my friends, and deal with lots of drama that I prefer to avoid, but it was still so good to be there! Then I flew up to Detroit to Surprise my friend Allison for her BIRTHDAY (what a BLAST)... and then back to PA, to NYC and to Philly! Not to mention 8 trips to harrisburg/ Mechanicsburg! Man, the last 2 weeks in PA were insane as well.

• I have a BEAUTIFUL new niece, Audrey Hart. She's perfect.
• I have a BEAUTIFUL Pseudo-Niece, Daphne Belle. She's perfect too.
• I have so many amazing people in my life, it's overwhelming sometimes.

I really did love being home.

• BUT America is too expensive, too uptight and they give you entirely too much food. All the time! (I gained 5lbs!)

it's good to be back where it's warm. (Or Fraaaacking hot!) Wait for updates of new adventures...

coming soooooooon: promise.

Me and Gravity, we finally agree.

Spend all of my life waiting for answers,
to lift me, to numb me--
to define it all...


Suuuuuuuunshine,
I'm beginning to like this...





Time slips to nothing and I'm better than I've ever been...
I'm suspended....







Suuuuunshine.

I'm beginning to like this.

la-la-la-la-life

Wow, I don't know where to start to update you on the past 2 weeks! They've been hectic... I began teaching the full 16 hours a week, which I wish I had been doing the whole time, there has been some confrontation at work, but it's getting better now. And I think that next year, all of the kinks will be out, and things will run smoothly.
The picture of the kids are some of the kids that I'll be teaching next school year! The one in the white shorts, is my FAVORITE! Haha, I think she means to make a peace sign, but her hands are in her sleeves, so it just kind of looks like she has a nub. I love her.














I still go see the monks pretty much everyday, though the last week has been really busy, so I haven't been able to stay as long, which sucks. But this week, my schedule should ease up a bit, and I'll be able to sit with them all afternoon, like I like to do. I love them so much.
I'll start with last wednesday, February 20th. I went to a small school just outside of the city with one of my monks to teach for the day. I was able to take the day off to do this, and it was such an awesome experience. The kids I was teaching were about 11-12, and they actually listened, and participated, and understood. I was able to play the games with them that I can't play with 35 five year olds... I taught them about time, about how to say "half past... " "quarter past..." "Quarter to" and they got it, no problem. Then we reviewed the months, and played some games. It was AMAZING. Afterwards, all of the little girls made me give them my signature... hahaha. And I gave several of them my email address, but I haven't heard from any of them.
The best part of that day was lunch time. I went out on the playground with Phra D, and sat. And this crowd of little girls came over to him and started asking him questions about me, and he said in Thai "ask her", and so they did, and I just sat there and goofed off with like, 12 10-12 year old girls for about half an hour. Then when I got up to leave, two of them grabbed my hands and walked with me all the way back to the class room! It was wonderful! I really wish I could afford to teach at that school, but it just isn't possible. ugh. The classes were so small, like, 25... right now I have almost 40 in each class, and I have 8 classes! AH! I don't have any pictures of that day, because my camera is BROKEN. ugh. But, today, I bought a new one (and it's GORGEOUS) so, I shouldn't have that problem anymore! YAY!
Last Thursday, I got my hair straightened... I know, that picture is extremely flattering. I like it okay, but I feel like it's already starting to go back to normal... it's supposed to last for a year. But that's okay. ha.
The picture of me and my two friends was taken in one of my favorite coffee shops called "Hopf", it's lovely, and they have awesome soy lattes... And the art in it was all done by my friend, Tua, who is absolutely AMAZING. Those girls in the are my loves, Kat and Aynsley. Both lovely lovely Canadians, that I spend most of my free time with... they're awesome. Though, we can't seem to take a very good picture together. Kat has some, but I don't have them yet. You'll be seeing plenty of these girls though, they're my favorites.
I was supposed to go on a trip this weekend, but opted out of it... and I'm kind of glad I did. At the moment, I'm sitting in my room on a Saturday night, by choice. I think I just needed a break from going, because it seems like all I do is go. So I took tonight to just... be Also, the bars are closed anyway because of elections, so it's a good night to be in. I watched hairspray, ate a brownie, and I'm going to bed pretty soon... haha.
I still love Thailand, though my view of it is much less rosey than I think it used to be. I have my motorcycle, I'm constantly busy... I've made some pretty awesome friends, met some really quality folks, and I'm having LOTS of fun.
I will be headed back to the states in 9 days! My flight leaves from Chiang Mai at 10pm on March 11 (that's 10am US, Eastern time)! First I'll fly to Bangkok, then from Bangkok, I will fly to JFK, that flight leaves at 12:05am (so, noon), I'll be arriving at JFK around 6am on March 12th! (so that means I will have been traveling for... 20 hours? Something ridiculous. I am NOT excited about sitting on a plane for that long, let me tell you. BUT, I am so excited about seeing all of my lovely friends and being home for a bit. It's hard to believe that 7 months of my life has flown so fast.
My brother and his wife are expecting on March 30, so, while I'm home, I'll be getting to see my NEICE/ God daughter! How cool is THAT?
Alright, well, though I do never stop, I don't really have THAT much going on. No amazing stories... 'cept that I got a ticket, haha. And the rest, I'll just have to tell you all in PERSON. AHHHHH! Haha... soon, darlins, soon.

Now, it's my bed time! YAY!

Nothing dims these stars:

So, the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of busy days and long nights. I don't know where the time is going, but it's going so quickly lately. For awhile, it was dragging, and I was waiting for it to speed up... and now that it's sped up, I'm wishing for it to slow down.
Last Saturday night, Beth headed home to NY, and I miss her. Naturally... Plus, for some reason, I just realllly like that picture. haha. Maybe it's her rock star, straight banged, "I can squat like a Thai" coolness. I don't know.


I've been trying to throw myself into teaching, but the more I try, the more I feel like it's a thankless feat. No one really gets what I'm trying to do, and I feel like the teachers are against my efforts... BUT, I LOVE my kids. Love them, and I think that next year, when I'm able to do things more to my styling, and can teach the things that I think haven't been taught correctly, and start from scratch, I think I will LOVE my job. When I feel like I matter... because right now, I feel like it doesn't matter if I'm there or not, so when I start a school year with them, it will be awesome. I'm PUMPED. These pictures were taken on the day of "Day camp" which was last saturday, it was fun... ridiculous, but the kids enjoyed it, so it was wort h it. I think the hardest thing about teaching here is that no one really ever bothers to tell me what's going on, but next year they'll have to... so, again, I just have to be patient, which I'm getting good at these days. haha. The little boy in the picture by himself... that's Noon, I love him. He is the "naughty" boy in his class. The teachers constantly tell him that he's stupid, simply because he's hyper... one day a few weeks ago, I was talking to his teacher, trying desperately to communicate that I thought he was very bright, just hyper, and the teacher was laughing hysterically and basically said "no, no, he's VERY beautiful, but he's very very stupid." And it broke my heart. He's usually so bad in class, but I'm convinced that he's smart... so I argued with her, "no no, I think he's very smart" then she says "no, he's so dumb, I mean... look" and I look up and he's on all fours, barking. And that's when I fell in love. The next week he was being very bad in class, and I pulled him over and asked him if he was stupid, and he shook his head "no" and I said, in horrible Thai "right, you're smart. Aren't you?" and he shook his head "yes" and I said "Next week, be quiet, sit like a good boy, because you're very smart and I like you" and since then, he has been an ANGEL with me. He tries so hard, and runs up to me and shows me his work and gets so excited. He is NOT stupid, and I am going to PROVE it, damn it. He's so good for me now, he just needs to be believed in. And well, I'll feed him positive reinforcement, because no one else is... anyway, I love him.
I've been spending a lot of time with the monks, and getting to be good friends with them... though it isn't quite the same without Beth. They help me with my Thai , speaking, reading AND writing, and they just make me laugh so hard. I go see them pretty much every afternoon from about 4 till around 6:30... I love them. I love them so much. This wendesday I'm taking the day off from school, and teaching with Phra D in his highschool class all day, because he wants to see how I teach things, and he wants them to work on their pronunciation of words. So, I'm gonna do that... it'll be a good break from 5 year olds... and maybe next weekend I'll go to Pai? I don't know.
Thursday night (Valentines Day) I went to this art show, I was amazed. There are so many amazing, unique souls that live in this city... and I'm finally getting to know several of them... and I love it. I got to wear my dress, and ride my bike... and I feel super hot, it was great. Oh, meet my motorcycle that I SUCK at driving, her name is Ruby, and I love her. (Thanks Beth :-)) I have been meeting such COOL people, and falling more and more in love with this city, with the language, everything.

I don't want to leave.

Learning to understand and appreciate the magnitude of your experiences is... amazing. I love my life.